Hey, party people! Instablogs is the place to be, ho!

By the by, when I say the word “ho”, I am not referring to hooker, Ashley Dupre, i’m referring to the name Pimp Daddy Eliot Spitzer calls out when he comes inside Ashley Dupre, “ho!”

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Anyhoo, back to the show!

People, i’m gonna’ make this short but sweet. Sarcastic but smartass. Sacrilegious but sassy!

My criteria for the next president of the United States is pretty damn simple.

All I want for “election day” Christmas is my two front teeth and a president who will stop the Spanish channel epidemic.

People is it just me or does anybody else notice the trillion and counting Spanish channels rapidly taking over the American airways?

I mean, don’t get me wrong, as a modern Black chick I don’t have anything against Hispanic people, probably because I don’t know any.

P.S. I save my hate exclusively for Black people because that’s the kind of racist bitch that I am.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Just kiddin’ yall!

Movin’ on!

Not that it’s any of yalls damn business because it’s private dammit, I have basic cablevision and currently receive 125 channels. And out of those 125 channels, 111 of them are Spanish channels.

I kid you not! (Well, maybe I am exaggerating a tad bit but I think yall get what I am trying to say.)

I mean, don’t get me wrong as a modern Black chick (this is my catch phrase for this article, “don’t get me wrong as a modern Black chick”) I love a good telenovela like any other illegal immigrant in the United States but GODDAMN!

Do I have to have this shit in my face 24 hours a day 7 days a week on 111 channels!

I need a break!

Like motivational speaker, Susan Powter used to say, “Stop the Insanity!”

Hey, I gotta’ a few questions for yall that will make you go, hmmm. (I love you Arsenio Hall! Bring back the Arsenio Hall show!)

How come the Spanish channels ALWAYS come in perfectly clear wherever you are? Huh? I mean you could literally be living under a rock and the Spanish channel would come in pitch perfect.

Personally, I think that it’s a conspiracy to drive us crazy! I just know it!

Question number two: In order to get some local stations in some states you have to get a cable hook-up. But how come you don’t if you are a Spanish channel? Basically it seems all you have to do is plug the tv into the outlet and you get a gazillion Spanish channels whether you want to or not.

I’m telling yall it’s a conspiracy to drive us crazy and you know it!

America, I pose this question, why this boob tube discrimination?

Can’t all television channels get along? (At this time I would like to send a shout out to Rodney King! By the by, great catch phrase brother!)

So to reiterate my wish which most of you have probably forgotten due to my long-winded rant, I am begging and pleading with the next individual who steps into the oval office to please please please do the right thing and do whatever the hell you can, legal or illegal, to stop the Spanish channel epidemic!

Please!

Because it’s driving me and Britney Spears crazy!

Knowledgeable Question:

-Are yall down with the ever-growing spanish channels taking over the American airways or is the Spanish channel epidemic driving you crazy too?