Today $3.93 for a gallon of gas, tomorrow $3,930 for a gallon of gas!
I mean, when will this insanity stop!
When will gas prices return to an affordable price!
I mean, what the hell is an average American with a tiny-ass gas guzzling foreign car to do?
Hey average American, don’t fret!
Help is here!
I say if you can’t beat em’, join em’!
With gas prices being at an all time high, below are a few ridiculous solutions on how to solve the current gas problem.
-Go to the upcoming Democratic and Republican Conventions. Be sure to bring a couple of hundred canning jars with you and load up on all of the gas coming out of the politicians mouths. (This particular kind of gas can be very lethal and extra potent!)
-Attend any college fraternity party. Be sure to bring a couple of hundred canning jars with you and load up on all of the “Animal House” gas! (P.S. I love your John Belushi and the song, “Louie, Louie!”)
-Take a trip to Texas and go to the biggest five-alarm chili contest that you can find. Be sure to bring a couple of hundred canning jars with you to the public restrooms and load up on all of the noxious flatulence! (P.S. Don’t forget to bring a gas mask!)
-Go to your nearest video/dvd rental store and rent the movie, “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” When you get home pop in the video/dvd and immediately fast forward the movie to the part where Charlie and Grandpa take a couple of swigs of the fizzy-lifting drink and lift off towards the lethal ceiling fan. Be sure to have some canning jars ready! As Charlie and Grandpa repeatedly burp to get down, load up on all of the free belching gas that you can. Remember, you can always rewind to the same segment and repeat this process.
So, ridiculous gas problem solved!
P.S. Please God let gas prices return to normal! I’m so damn tired of walking!
Thanks for the suggestion and the comment on my article!